In what has become sort of a tradition even before this blog was born, every spring I try to show how little I know about the National Hockey League playoffs by butchering a set of predictions starting with the first round. I make bold predictions, insulting comments and show great admiration for some players and utter disdan and disgust for others. It's actually quite fun and questioning the guts and manhood of professional athletes never gets old. So without further ado, let’s get on with the picks that will result in me feeling as bashful as a toddler who just peed the carpet when all’s said and done. Here’s part one, detailing Wedneday’s slate of games.
Western Conference
(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (8) Colorado Avalanche
Players to Watch:
Joe Thornton, C, Sharks- You can’t even call this guy the A-Rod of hockey anymore because A-Rod exorcised the demons and got the job done this past season. If Super Joe can’t have a sensational playoff this year and the Sharks get bounced early again, it might be sayonara San Jose as far his tenure in Silicon Valley.
Chris Stewart, RW, Avalanche- After a slow start to the season, this guy turned it on and we started hearing Cam Neely comparisons. Stewart was built for the gritty wars of playoff hockey and I am excited to see his first chance to apply his considerable skills in the spotlight. Colorado has a snowball’s chance in hell to pull this one out, but this will be a learning experience for the young power forward.
How I See It:
The Avalanche were one of the league’s pleasant surprises over the first five months of the season, but towards the end this group ran out of gas faster than the best picture push for Avatar. The one thing that kept them going down the stretch (and what could make this a series) is goalie Craig Anderson. This guy stood on his head for much of the season and should be mentioned in the Vezina conversation. The Sharks flew under the radar about as much as a number one seed could during the course of the regular season. We’ve all seen this before. The Sharks dominate the regular season before Thornton and co get on their knees and get reamed like the 135 lb white guy during his first night in the clink. That being said, the bottom line is that the Sharks have a deadly power play, a more than competent penalty kill and wave after wave of scoring forwards. The Sharks are going to disappoint again, but not in this round. Look for them to beat the ‘Lanche like they were a child at an early 1900’s orphanage. Sharks in four.
(4) Phoenix Coyotes vs. (5) Detroit Red Wings
Players to Watch:
Jimmy Howard, G, Red Wings- Detroit’s rookie goalie put together an impressive first campaign that should have him holding the Calder Trophy in a few months. Until then, he has the job of backstopping a veteran crew through a path they know so well. The Wings skaters will be more than ready for the challenge. Will the rookie goalie?
Ilya Bryzgalov, G, Coyotes- If it weren’t for Ryan Miller in Buffalo, Bryzgalov would have the Vezina and Hart trophies locked up this season. He was the greatest singular reason for the incredible season the Coyotes had. If the Coyotes are to have a chance against Detroit, “Cool Bryz” will have to be better than he was in the regular season. We’re talking Grant Fuhr on coke better.
How I See It:
Those poor Coyotes. The season’s Cinderella darlings made every hockey fan in North America smile and revel in their heart and determination. In the wake of the team’s sale, possible relocation and financial peril, Dave Tippet’s (Coach of the year-not even questionable) squad had the best season in history while relying on Vezina candidate Ilya Bryzgalov’s goaltending and contributions from all skaters. What is their reward? You guessed it, the Darth Vader of hockey opponents: The Detroit Red Wings. Don’t let the Wings’ fifth place finish fool you. They were injured most of the season and finally got healthy after the Olympic break while putting a startling win-loss record together. Once the roster was back in full-health, the team surged from on the bubble of the playoff picture to the fifth spot. This is a number two seed disguised as a five. The only question mark is how rookie goalie Jimmy Howard will fare in his first playoffs. Miles of experience, scoring and saavy, the Wings are poised to lay waste to the Western Conference playoff landscape once again. This was the worst possible first round matchup for Cinderella and the Coyotes. Bryzgalov alone will make it a series but unfortunately for “Cool Bryz” and the Yotes, the clock is about to strike midnight as Detroit reenacts the destruction of Alderaan on the feel-good story of the NHL season. Detroit in five.
Eastern Conference
(2) New Jersey Devils vs. (7) Philadelphia Flyers
Players to Watch:
Ilya Kovalchuk, LW, Devils- One of the greatest pure scorers in the world, his only playoff experience was a few years back when he was a complete non-factor in his Atlanta Thrashers’ four game sweep at the hands of the Rangers. This postseason is all about redemption and about justifying the enormous contract he will be receiving from some team as a UFA this summer. No individual player (even Joe Thornton) has more to lose and prove this postseason than Kovalchuk. If he comes up small again, the contract offers will reflect it. If he comes up big for the Devils, his many suitors will make it rain.
Jeff Carter, C, Flyers- The most offensively skilled forward on the Flyers is coming off of a foot injury but will have the weight of an entire team on his shoulders in this first round matchup. The Flyers are deadly all over and have a number of players who can light it up, but it’s this little bitch that starts the engine. If he starts scoring early, this team of dirtbags is going to have a great shot to beat that other group of dirtbags.
The Way I see It:
Out of all of the first round matchups in either conference, this forecasts to be the best. The Flyers underachieved all year while the Devils racked up another Atlantic Division title with relative ease. Make no mistake though, these teams are very evenly matched and the Flyers forwards provide a matchup nightmare for the underwhelming Devils defense. The Flyers have a great blueline and a deadly powerplay and really handled the Devils throughout the regular season. On top of that, they have been playing playoff games for two weeks now. With fatso Martin Brodeur, New Jersey has the definite advantage in goal but will it be enough? I say no. Great D, solid scoring and felony-level nastiness throughout the lineup (start with Pronger, Chris) will be too tough to match. A long, exciting series that will go to the Flyers in seven.
(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (5) Ottawa Senators
Players to Watch:
Evgeni Malkin, C, Penguins- It was a disappointing season for the Penguin sniper. After winning the Conn Smyth Trophy last season, Malkin battled inconsistency this season while putting up 77 points in 67 games. If he stays hot like he ended the season, the Penguins will be in a great position to defend their shitty title.
Brian Elliott, G, Senators- In what is becoming the trend of the NHL postseason, we see another question mark in goaltending. After a decent enough rookie year, this relative unknown has the unenviable task of having to deal with Sidney Crosby, Malkin and Jordan Staal. Oh goodie.
How I See It:
The big question with this series is how the Penguins will fare in their first postseason follow-up after winning the Stanley Cup last year. Will Pittsburgh have the same drive? Well, any team with Sidney Crosby should have the drive and these Pens are ready to turn it on. On top of that, Marc-Andre Fleury had an up and down year between the pipes for Pittsburgh and is eager to prove that his star shines brightest when the games count the most. One thing is for certain and that is there won’t be any lack of familiarity for the Pens as they take on their, seemingly, annual first round opponent Ottawa. The Sens had a great bounce back season after embarrassingly missing the playoffs last year, but missing Alex Kovalev (who sucks anyway) limits their secondary scoring right off the bat. Couple that with an experienced squad of all-world players wiring pucks at rookie goalie Brian Elliott and we have the makings of a Rambo-esque blood bath. Penguins in five.
Stay tuned tomorrow as we finish off the first round predictions!
Photo courtesy of the National Hockey League
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