Round 2 Preview - Cavs vs. Celtics

What Cleveland Must Do To Win:

• Outscore the Celtics
• Out rebound the Celtics
• Oh wait, this is a real preview, not the normal stuff you'll see from the "sports experts"

Cleveland, the Eastern Conference Champs are coming in with a lot of weight on their shoulders. As the top seed, the Cavs are the natural favorite but that's an easy way of painting an XL bulls-eye on them. LeBron and Co. disposed of the Bulls with relative ease but the Bulls are a young team with a lot of turmoil (see the feud between GM John Paxson and Coach Vinny Del Negro). The Cavs have a lot of strength beyond LeBron (Shaq, Delonte West, Mo Williams, Anderson Varejao play co-starring roles while additions of Antawn Jamison and Zydrunas Ilgauskas provide needed depth.)  The Cavs have the needed depth but the 2nd and 3rd scorers are unknowns at this point - could be an edge since the ball can be distributed to a number of players that can light it up. LeBron has a nice, built in excuse with his "injured" elbow.

I expect a lot of give and gos to Shaq early in most games, get him going, get Perkins in foul trouble, and control the game from there. LeBron will dominate the ball late in games and in the middle, Mo Williams will find Jamison, West, Varejao, Parker, and Jemario Moon. Under-appreciated, though overpaid, Daniel Gibson who can bomb 3s if given the chance and Leon Powe may even re-surface at some point to play spoilers depending on how the foul situation plays out.

What the Celtics Must Do To Win:

• Control the boards - they're bigger, stronger, and tougher on the interior, even if Varejao is playing since Wallace and Davis should off-set his rebounding off the bench.
• Rajon Rondo - The best PG on all playoff teams must dominate by dishing when needed and driving to the hoop to create havoc for the defenders.
• The Allens - Ray is THE hottest hand has been hitting 3s like they are free throws. If he's hot, Cs are in great shape. Tony is shut down defense and can keep LeBron in check when on the floor - I'd expect his minutes to bump up during this series.

Pierce and Co. are all healthy, finally, so the 4th seed is misleading. Pierce can score and can dish and rebound out of the 3 spot and the Cavs cannot cover him, that's right, you heard me correctly. Garnett's intensity and Perkins' size may be too much for Shaq to handle down low.They've been playing with a very short bench (Glen Davis, Tony Allen, Michael Finley and Sheed are the only guys playing consistently since the playoffs started. Perkins must remain out of foul trouble or else the Cs are forced to go to players who haven't played meaningful minutes in a while.

All that said, series will go 7 games and I'm picking the Cs to win it in Cleveland.

"And then there were eight" part two: Sid vs. Cinderella

(4) Pittsburgh Penguins vs. (8) Montreal Canadiens

Players to Watch:
Sidney Crosby, C, Penguins- With all due respect to Mikael Samuelsson and Joe Pavelski, Sidney Crosby was the first round’s best player among skaters. He looked like a man among boys as he seemingly scored, skated and passed at will. After the performance this next guy put up in the first round, Crosby needs to keep it up and set the tone for this series like he did for his teammates in the last round.

Jaroslav Halak, G, Canadiens- Wow. What do you say about this guy? Stopping 131 of 134 shots over the last three games against the most powerful team since Iceland in The Mighty Ducks II? That’s legendary stuff. Unfortunately for Halak, he might have to be as good as he was against the Crapitals for the Habs to have a chance to dethrone Pittsburgh. A little under two weeks ago, Alex Ovechkin said that he saw Halak shaking after the Capitals repeatedly lit the lamp in a stunning all-out blitzkrieg on the Montreal net. Well the only thing Halak was shaking on Wednesday was that Russian creep’s hand after he eliminated his ass. Let’s see if he can shut down a few more offensive titans in numbers 87 and 71.

How I see It:
After a flat first game, the Penguins pretty much took it to Ottawa for the duration of their first round series. Sidney Crosby led the way; scoring, assisting, skating through traffic like some sort of possessed demon, driving the zamboni, making the team’s travel arrangements, piloting the team plane, etc. He was a monster force and things will be looking dire for Montreal if he continues this type of production into the second round. We all know he can. For Montreal, they just came off of a HUGE upset against Washington and should be riding high on emotion heading into round two. In other sports that emotion might be deemed overrated or insignificant, and correctly so. But in hockey, emotion can be the great equalizer. This is a heart and soul game and will goes a long, long way; especially in the Stanley Cup playoffs. When looking at this series, we see a lot of reasons to expect it to go the distance. Montreal has the advantage in goal with Jaroslav Halak over the shaky (and horrendously ugly) Marc-Andre Fleury for Pittsburgh. The Pens have the obvious advantages in forwards (we all know how absolutely lethal they are) and on the backline. But where this series can be won for Montreal is in special teams. The Canadiens PP and PK’s are substantially better than those of Pittsburgh. Watching the Captials’ devastating powerplay be crushed to powder by Montreal’s incredible PK and shot blocking shows that Montreal can stay in this if they win the special teams battle. Will it be enough? Can Halak and his teammates reincarnate the heroics of the Cinderella 1993 version of the bleu, blanc et rouge? Anything is possible, but Crosby, Malkin and the gang seem ready to gear it up a notch and show the hockey world that the Eastern Conference and the Stanley Cup still go through the Steel City. Pittsburgh in Seven

Does "Kick-Ass" kick ass? You bet your ass.

Over the past decade, comic book movies have saturated the movie landscape. For better or worse, they are immense money-makers and are here to stay (unless Hollywood runs out of people in tights to make movies out of). We’ve seen the good (Spider-Man, Iron Man), the bad (Daredevil, Fantastic Four), the polarizing (Watchmen) and the Oscar-worthy (The Dark Knight). Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass definitely belongs in the “good” category, but make no mistake; this film is not for the kiddies as the comic was definitely not for anyone under the age of, oh I don’t know, 25? This isn’t Spidey. This is a hard-R, folks. We’re talking granite hard.

Adapted from a miniseries created by comic book heavies Mark Millar (who also penned Wanted before it was adapted for the screen and murdered by Angelina Jolie) and John Romita Jr., Kick-Ass tells the story of high school student Dave Lizewski. Dave isn’t a nerd or a jock. Much like the rest of us, Dave simply exists, invisible to most, drifting from day to day, class to class only garnering attention when staring hopelessly and longingly at his teacher’s cleavage or engaging in an awkward exchange with the class hottie. He spends his nights on comic books, video games and incessant masturbating. Oh to be a teenager again. One day, Dave and his friends are gathered at a local comic book store when Dave wonders aloud why nobody has ever tried to be a super hero before? Good question, Dave. Enter Kick-Ass, Dave’s costumed vigilante alter-ego that accepts jobs through MySpace and is featured on YouTube fighting criminals in a scuba suit-err superhero costume ordered online.

Dave’s journey is often painful and bloody as he quickly realizes why no one has ever tried being a super hero before; it sucks and you usually get the shit beaten out of you. The action is visceral and bloody while the plot and consistent laughs keep the audience engaged and invested while swimming in a sea of violence. The movie stays pretty true to the comic (so good, no need to change things around), save for a few small discrepancies here and there. The third act that was largely revamped for the screen, but the spirit is the same and the payoff is just as enjoyable. More importantly the changes have struck the balance between movie goers’ mainstream interest and fanboy loyalty which generally makes everyone pretty much content when it comes to comic book movies.

The story definitely picks up upon the introduction of father-daughter crime fighting duo Big Daddy and Hit Girl; two real-deal vigilantes that make Kick-Ass look like the amateur that he is. This is primarily because Hit Girl, Chloe Moretz, 13, is an absolute scene-stealer. In the comics, she is described as “John Rambo meets Polly Pocket.” In the film, the rendition is dead-on and destined to be talked about for years.

Also appearing, and making another incremental departure from the American icon that is McLovin, is Christopher Mintz-Plasse. He is great in the role of Chris D’Amico/Red Mist and shows a darker, grittier side than most are use to seeing with him.

All in all, Vaughn nailed it with the most entertaining movie of the year thus far. The story is great while staying true to the master work and the characters are engaging and layered. And as previously mentioned, Chloe Moretz provides a performance that will be talked about for years to come (as well as impersonated for the next five Halloweens). The moral is simple: when people put on masks and decide to fight crime in the real world, there might not be anybody saving your ass in the next issue.

Photo courtesy: Universal Pictures

"And then there were eight" part one: Wings-Sharks

The first round of the NHL playoffs is in the books and the second round is ready to go starting tonight with Detroit visiting San Jose. I went 6-8 for the first round and as far as predictions go, that’s not bad. Don’t fret though, there are three more rounds of potential jinxes for me to provoke. Let’s get round two started with a preview of the series beginning tonight.


(1) San Jose Sharks vs. (5) Detroit Red Wings

Players to Watch:
The Entire First Line, Sharks- If it weren’t for the heroics of “the other Joe,” Joe Pavelski, and his inspired play during the first round, we’d probably be talking about another San Jose choke job. But as we saw, J-Pav came through big time and it turned out that the Capitals had dibs on the first round pants-shitting anyway, so the Sharks head into round two. But, if Dany Heatley isn’t healthy, Patrick Marleau continues to play like he is skating with an erection and Joe Thornton continues to look like he is attempting to play with Marleau’s erection, the Wings are going to have a field day. Hey guys, the playoffs started.

Nicklas Lidstrom, D, Red Wings- After the first few games of the Phoenix series, pundits were wondering if Lidstrom was finally slowing down. His play was erratic and lacking the laser-sharp focus we have come to take for granted with him. For the first time in his career, he was being questioned openly. Well all those questions lasted long didn’t they? A few short hours before Lidstrom turned 40 years old, he did his part in bringing the Coyotes to their knees with a dominating performance in game seven. The regal defender is back in form which means the plight of the Sharks’ top scorers isn’t getting any easier.

How I see It:
After a scary first round series against the Avalanche, the Sharks have the aura of a team that said to itself, “we survived! WE MADE IT!” Well, guys you did. Here’s your reward: a Detroit Red Wings team hitting its stride after a nice, healthy first round test against Phoenix. For all intents and purposes, this series looks like it could be a classic. On paper, it’s the most entertaining potential matchup left in the playoffs. Unfortunately, the Sharks rarely come through when we need and or want them to (use any comparison you want: dead beat dad, hottest girl in high school who you are devastated to learn is horrible at INSERT VERB HERE, Mr. Belding’s brother Rod from “Saved By the Bell”) so this series is probably going to disappoint you if you are expecting a seven-game, multiple overtime classic. Both teams have evenly matched special teams, forwards and defense. On top of that, both goalies are a question mark. The pieces are indeed here. But judging by past history and by what we saw in the first round, I don’t see the Sharks big three competing with a Wings team that’s getting that look back in its eyes. Especially not when Henrik Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk are doing shit like this. Get the golf clubs ready, San Jose! Wings in six.


Image courtesy of Getty Images

Movie Minute - 4/27/10

It's been a while since the last movie minute and you know what that means, right? Lots of quick reviews to tell you what's worth seeing and worth skipping.

The Blind Side - Initially I did not want to see this movie. I had no idea why. Maybe it was Sandra Bullock's fault? Who knows. Glad I saw it and I'd say it's got a little somethin' somethin' for everyone to like. It's the true story of Baltimore Ravens' left tackle, Michael Oher, and it's a pretty good story.

Staten Island - Having spent 14 years living on SI, I had to give this movie a shot (me and the rest of my Island peeps are probably the only ones.) Where did this go wrong? Subject matter? Not really, a story that focuses on a quirky mob boss on SI might make for a good film. Setting? Nah, Island guy directs a movie about his home town, I can dig that. Actors? Vincent D'Onofrio, Ethan Hawke, and Seymour Cassel headline and those are solid names. So what was it? Oh yeah, the writing. Awful. I'm not going to delve into film-making technique but they tried to do some cool stuff here but the stuff just didn't come across as such. Skip it unless you are from SI or have a particular affinity for the 5th boro. One more thing, why did Ethan Hawke play such a similar character to the Hank Hanson (Before the Devil Knows You're Dead).

Rubin and Ed - flick from 1991 that's pretty hard to hunt down (VHS only) but worth a look if you can find it. Features a young Crispin Glover in drag...yeah, it's quirky. It's a must for Howard Hesseman fans! For more, check out the wiki.

The Goods - Live Hard, Sell Hard. That's the tag line for this somewhat disappointing comedy. There were a handful of laughs in here and it was obviously a comedy that kept trying to push the envelope further. I am trying to recall the first comedy I can remember featuring some type of singing/karaoke scene and "Tommy Boy" comes to mind, now that's a comedy movie staple and naturally it happens here, on multiple occasions. A must for fans of The Ving Rhames!

In Closing
Blind Side - A-
Staten Island - C-
Rubin and Ed - B+
The Goods - B

Eating Out: New Jersey

Oh the Garden State, I don't even know where to begin with you but instead of taking cheap shots at New York's little brother, I'll concede the fact that you are loaded with great eateries. Kicking things off is Jose Tejas and even though there are two (Woodbridge and Fairfield) I choose the Woodbridge version.

For starters, the place looks like it belongs on the set of Once Upon a Time in Mexico as the exterior looks like it was dropped in from the southwest. But if the exterior's not enough to convince you to give the place a try, perhaps the giant, neon sign that reads EAT with an arrow pointing to the restaurant is? 


I have literally eaten every item on the menu, some more than a handful of times, and nothing has ever disappointed. Serving a mix of Cajun and Tex-Mex treats, J. Tejas has something to satisfy everyone. For starters, I wholly recommend the Tejas Chicken (think of it as a buffalo wing on a stick), Blackened Chicken Fingers (also an entreé but I go for the app. here), and the Chorizo Flambado. Trust me when I tell you that you really cannot go wrong here.


Since I've started going here, some 15 years ago, I've lost faith in the tortillas w/salsa (salsa is fresh and home made but the tortillas leave something to be desired and used to be better.)


Now that I got the negativity out of the way, back to the goods. The entreés are always hot, fresh, and delicious. It makes me wonder how many cooks there are since the place is generally always picked and the food is served so fast! Two of my favorites are the Filet Mignon Jim Bowie Style and the Chimichurri Steak. Don't sleep on the Creole Chicken. If you're less daring, the Fajitas are a great, safe bet.


The next time you find yourself in the Central Jersey region (or up North on 46) hit up Jose Tejas and be prepared for a great meal, but be warned that if you get there anywhere around supper time you will be waiting a while to get your table. Want to find your way to Tejas? Click here and enter your address for directions to the location on Route 1 in Woodbridge. Want a preview of the fine foods offered at Tejas? Click here! And please remember, if you are planning a visit as a result of reading this, don't forget to invite me.