Bumper Stickers

I'm not sure there's ever been a more obnoxious invention than the bumper sticker. Whether it's your annoying, misguided political statement or just some silly sticker claiming your affinity for a sports team, location, or person, it's just a waste.

"My child can beat up your honor student." Ohhhhh HAHAHA funny guy. Great one. So what you're saying is your kid is dumb and bullies the smart kids that will likely one day be your kid's boss. Fantastic. Keep telling little Bobby to reach for the stars and beat those smart kids up.

"I <3 my Poodle." That's great! Profess love for your dog because it can obviously take an extra degree of pride when it reads your confession of love on the back bumper. Imagine the jealous rage if you accidentally put the "I <3 my Pomeranian" on the bumper instead. As FiFi is gnawing your foot off, you scream, "It was an honest mistake, I swear!"

Or my most favorite that I've seen recently while traveling in the Garden State, "Jersey Girls Don't Pump Gas." Oh is that so princess? Wow! You are truly part of the privileged class, use your privilege wisely! Not sure if any of the morons that invested their money in one of these stickers ever noticed that it is NJ law that dictates that nobody shall pump gas in the state other than the gas station attendant. But, you ask, "what if the gas station attendant is a girl?!?!?" Well she must not be from Jersey! Imagine the outrage is she were?

Before you go to stick some annoying message indicating that you truly don't give a crap about the re-sale value of your car, think of this message and ask, "Does this sticker really need to be on my car?" And then ask yourself, "Do I have the receipt to return this thing?" But if everyone and their mother most know that your car climbed Mt. Washington, that's just great. Next time, just drive that sucker right over the other side of the mountain.

In closing, look for the summer line of OFC Bumper Stickers coming in June, just in time for summer BBQs!